Tuesday, May 12, 2009

wonder.

i still wonder about the boy who committed suicide on our school's field over six years ago and whether anyone still remembers (though class of 09 is the only class left who was there at the time). i still wonder about my first crush back in kindergarten and what the heck he is doing with his life these days. i still wonder if people can take me seriously or if they still see me as some timid littler girl who cannot manage to socialize. i still wonder whether or not he even cares anymore. i still wonder how my outlook on school and life would be if i had gone to a different school. i still wonder whether or not i made the right choices, and whether or not i'm making the right ones now. i still wonder whether i'm that friend in the group that people secretly hate and complain about when not around. i still wonder if she knew just how much i loved her and how i wished to simply take her pain away before she died.i still wonder what would have happened if i had told them how i felt years ago and whether or not our relationship would be different. i still wonder what happened to amelia earheart. i still wonder if crushes or infatuations really lead to any good. i still wonder if people will remember who i am ten years from now, and whether or not they will care. i still wonder if people can manage to forgive after months or years of being hurt.

4 comments:

rona said...

i still wonder about the boy who committed suicide on our school's field over six years ago too.

RachelB said...

i guarantee u are not that friend. but i worry about that all the time too.

rachel said...

reading your entries always makes me want to write some entries because of all the wondering that occurs in your entries

sarah said...

today i just found out my crush in elementary school died awhile ago in a motorcycle accident.. lifes so short.

wonder wonder.
what does life have in store next?