Sunday, April 19, 2009

hearing you sing makes me ridiculously happy.
i've missed it.

Friday, April 17, 2009


i'm home!
and happy.
and hopeful.

and my plan to find a lot of 'h' words failed.

what you make of it.

there are times when life just throws you down, and you feel as though you may never get up. nothing can ever seem good again. the smile on you face lingers only for a few seconds until reality hits you, and you fall right back down again. "it's okay" never sounded so much like a lie, and every action and step is only followed my more misery. nothing you do seems to fix the broken.

there are times when anything and everything manages to make you angry, bitter, and annoyed simultaneously. you know in your head that you shouldn't snap back at other people and that they couldn't possibly realize that their actions suddenly drive you crazy to the point where resentment forms. every one of their past mistakes replays in your mind and the unjustified hatred grows stronger.

there are times when you manage to mess up. no matter how hard you try, the situation only gets worse and you question your own worth. your own capabilities. you lose all motivation you ever had in your life. your whole future can seem to crumble with one simple sentence. one simple phrase. it doesn't seem fair, but somehow you know you brought this upon yourself fromm the very start.

it's those times...
when you can lose hope.
when you can get angry.
when you can give up.

life's what you make of it.
it can suck.
or it can be amazing.
you have a lot more power over it than you think.
life's what you make of it.
(a lot harder said than done.)


note: i probably come off as somewhat hypocritical in some of these. somewhat.

1. spelling things weird on purpose.
people go to school only to spell words incorrectly on purpose when talking to friends? i understand when people use u if they're just lazy. but to go out of their way to talk to friends and to talk like dis and type yooh instead of you? rawr. type like that as much as you want just not to me. thank you, big brother, for stopping it early in 7th grade.

2. racial jokes.
okay, i'm a huge hypocrite for this. though i know people joke around about their own race, as i do sometimes, it can still hurt. there are just moments when you know a person is obviously joking around and by no means believes what comes out of his mouth. but those other moments when a person has the tone of humor, but you know they sincerely mean the insult behind the joke. its those moments. "gosh, i hate asians! but not you, kimly. you're different. you don't count." yes, i do. i'm very proud of who i am and where my family comes from. a stereotype does not truly define a group of people. i may not show it, but in those moments, a part of me does hurt. i do lose respect for you. i do take offense.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


i'm off to stay in a desert for a few days!
goodbye civilization.
i shall miss thee.
especially you, blogger.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

the Lord is risen!

Alleluia, alleluia.

it's a good day for the world.
i can feel it.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

have faith.

"world is your oyster."

Friday, April 10, 2009

good friday.

"for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." john 3:16.

on the bottom of every yellow bag from forever21, there's a bible verse. "for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..." i think it only makes sense that the creator of my favorite clothing store would choose my favorite line from the bible.

every year on good friday, i get weird. though it always marks the beginning of spring break, i don't share the same happiness and carefree feeling i see on the faces of every other student walking out of class when the last bell rings. i hear people complain of their inability to eat meat, and i admit to sometimes be one of them. other critics ask why friday? why no meat? what kind of sacrifice is that? should i really have to justify my actions to others? i don't think so. but i will. personally, it's a time to give up a little something i've always taken for granted. because He gave up so much more.

there is no time in the entire year when i feel His love more than today. to die in pain feeling as though His own Father has forsaken Him. to give up His life to a world who pushed Him away. who am i to deserve that?

i'm scared of my ability to take such love for granted.
i'm hurt at the thought of Him dying, yet i know how the story ends.
i'm sad that the world can be so cruel.
i'm loved when i don't deserve it.
i'm weird at this time every year.