Sunday, November 30, 2008


there are nine days left of my childhood. it doesn't feel like it... i'm not particularly excited. or sad. in like three days i'll get all moody and nostalgic and ish. people won't want to be around me, but they'll put up with my anyway cause they're friends. and that's what friends are for... (thanks for putting up with me.)

"how old are you?"

ps. i still don't know why i wore an a feather on my head like an indian for my birthday ...
pss. i had the cooest haircut EVER.


[19:06] theoneknowitall: you're reasonably cool

best compliment EVER.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

charlie v. lucy

it's like you think i'm lucy and you're charlie brown. and the football is tempting you. and history told charlie brown that he shouldn't kick that stupid ball, but he somehow believes lucy everytime and lands on his arse. i'm not lucy.

even you said pirates never give up. and i'll be damned if this pirate gives up on us.

rain fall.

this is the best possible sound for me at 12 45 am. someone told me that i seem like the type of person to like rain. i love love love it. there are puddles to be splashed in...

Monday, November 24, 2008

i miss...

i miss my youth. i miss my elementary school friends. i miss watching animaniacs every afternoon. i miss my stuffed animals that kept me company at the foot of my bed every night. i miss innocence. i miss getting rewarded for reading my harry potter books. i miss the lack of responsibility. i miss going to my aunt's every year for thanksgiving. i miss my uncle. i miss the feeling of security. i miss covering the driveway with chalk scribbles. i miss not having to worry about future. i miss not having to think about money issues. i miss eating pizza rolls for lunch almost every day. i miss my old lunch box. i miss getting amazing grades. i miss recess. i miss walking around with my old friends and just talking for what felt like eternity when in actuality it was less than fifteen minutes. i miss when we would walk everywhere instead of relying on the automobile. i miss not knowing how mean man can be. i miss being naive about stuff. i miss how the perfect love story was defined by cinderella. i miss when our only homework was to color. i miss what felt so comfortable. i miss when my whole family still lived at home. i miss you. i miss flying half way across the country every summer. i miss my old white walls that i would secretly doodle on. i miss the innocent imagination i once had. i miss the carefree childhood. i miss reading winnie the pooh and doctor seuss before bed instead of my government textbook. i miss what i thought you and i could be.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

i wonder.

what life would be like if the only form of affection was through hugs. would you give more and just share it with the world or less and savor each one to make it that much more special?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008


nothing can ever match this. nothing.

Monday, November 17, 2008


"Here's the thing about mistakes. Sometimes, even when you know something's a mistake, you gotta make it anyway." - How I Met Your Mother.

Some people may disagree, but here goes...

Kid tries to tie shoe laces.
Kid makes one too many loops.
Kid is confused but doesn't want to ask for help.
Kid is left with nothing but a huge knot.
Kid learns.
Kid tries again.

In life there are times when you know you are just making the worst decisions ever, and yet, you continue with your actions, knowing that you may someday regret it years later. Heck, you may even regret it the following week. So why do you make that mistake in the first place? Why do people put themselves into situations, when a part of them knows that they will mostly not like the outcomes?

My whole life, I've over thought practically every major decision in my life, even the little ones. The constant fear of what the outcome may be has held be back, as I constantly worried that things won't go as planned. It was, in some ways, the safe route. It was, in more ways, the stupid route. To hold back from what you really want, is to lie to yourself. A person can live an entire lifetime without ever fulfilling their dreams in order to have that safer, more guaranteed life. But at what expense? Sure, things may turn out all right for them. But what if it doesn't?

Kids, there comes in a time in your life when you find yourself making what may be the biggest decision of your life. And if you know, deep down inside, you heart is telling you to go down a path which may ultimately be a mistake, turn your brain off. Just turn your brain off and listen to your heart. It's best friends with your gut. In the end, it may be a mistake, but at least you can look back on life without any "what if's." You make that mistake, learn from it, and go on with your life. Sometimes, you gotta make that mistake.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

all you need is love.

i wonder...if the words "i love you" can be said too much. or maybe too soon? now i know the beatles were right in saying that all you need is love, but how do you know if it's real or not? i do believe that the words can be used too much. it's been built up in songs and movies to the point where people may think they understand what it's like to love someone. and it is not their fault or necessarily a bad thing. i just think people love the idea of having that one special person in their life more than the person themself, not that i'm saying this love is fake. but love cannot happen overnight. as much as a hopeless romantic i may be, i do not believe in love at first sight. but above all things i do believe in love. in certain situations, i believe the words used far too liberally, yet in this hateful world we've come to know, the words are not said enough. i'm contradicting myself... i don't know how to explain it.

i do believe in love.

i believe in love for God. i believe in love for parents. i believe in love for siblings. i believe in love for friends. i believe in love for dogs or cats or turtles. i believe in love for music. i believe in love for a stranger. i believe in love for that one other person. i believe in love for food. i believe in the love people write songs about. i believe in the love supposedly only found in movie. i believe in the fumbling over the right words kind of love. i believe in the everlasting love. i believe in the 'i-love-you-so-i-must-let-you-go' love. i believe in the uncertainty of love. i believe in excitement of love and the simple joy of love. i believe in heartbreaking love. i believe in young love and old. above all things i believe in love.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

infinite playlist.

1. your song - elton john
2. sunday morning - maroon 5
3. oh, it is love - hellogoodbye
4. hands down - dashboard confessional
5. i just want you - aj rafael
6. greatest story ever told - oliver james
7. all you need is love - the beatles
8. lemonade - passion
9. gentlemen don't - gabe bondoc
10. i'm yours - jason mraz
11. your eyes - rent
12. everything - michael buble
13. the way you look tonight - frank sinatra
14. can't help falling in love - elvis presley
15. more than anyone - gavin degraw
16. anyone else but you - moldy peaches
17. all my life - kci & jojo
18. more than words - extreme
19. you are the sunshine of my life - stevie wonder
20. this is promise you - nsync

there's more... i just can't think right now.

i feel it in my fingers.

the holidays are coming! thanksgiving. birthday. christmas. as much as i love summer freedom, i truly do love this time of year. there's something different about it. there's a sense of together-ness in it all. it's nice to go back to watching the same holiday movie favorites. and snuggling up under a freakishly thick layer of blankets with creepy toe socks. and drinking hot cocoa. making wishlists and shopping lists for your favorite people. wearing layers upon layers of clothes to stay warm and during the freezing walks to school. scarves and gloves. pigging out and making pretty cookies. giving hugs with the hope of retaining some body heat. i daresay this is the most wonderful time of the year..


Friday, November 07, 2008

pirates never give up.

johnny and capt. gillian.