good friday.

"for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." john 3:16.

on the bottom of every yellow bag from forever21, there's a bible verse. "for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..." i think it only makes sense that the creator of my favorite clothing store would choose my favorite line from the bible.

every year on good friday, i get weird. though it always marks the beginning of spring break, i don't share the same happiness and carefree feeling i see on the faces of every other student walking out of class when the last bell rings. i hear people complain of their inability to eat meat, and i admit to sometimes be one of them. other critics ask why friday? why no meat? what kind of sacrifice is that? should i really have to justify my actions to others? i don't think so. but i will. personally, it's a time to give up a little something i've always taken for granted. because He gave up so much more.

there is no time in the entire year when i feel His love more than today. to die in pain feeling as though His own Father has forsaken Him. to give up His life to a world who pushed Him away. who am i to deserve that?

i'm scared of my ability to take such love for granted.
i'm hurt at the thought of Him dying, yet i know how the story ends.
i'm sad that the world can be so cruel.
i'm loved when i don't deserve it.
i'm weird at this time every year.