your court.

so as i drove home, i thought to myself..
"i've done all i can. the ball is in your court. at least i know that i'll have no regrets."

i think that makes me very okay with how my life is. i told myself many, many times that i would live life with no regrets. carpe diem. c'est la vie. it wasn't until today, where i finally realized that i may very well be living up to my own word. i know there were a lot of mistakes i've made that should never have happened. i know there's a lot of things i should've done or should've said.

but more recently, i think i've found myself doing the things i want to do. and should do. and i've found that even though things may not go exactly my way, and people don't necessarily act the way i wish them to, at least i can know that i've done right by me and what i believe is to be right by them. to the best of my abilities. within reason.

this doesn't mean i've grown up.
or that i'm any less naive.

i think...
it means i'm still in the growing process.
i'm just becoming more aware.
less scared.