unrealistic.

i hate the moments when reality hits you hard.

did you know i once dreamed of seeing europe? all you dedicated blogger followers might know. i wanted to fly away from here the day after graduation and just travel with a pack on my back and go where ever i wished. i wanted to grab my friend and discover the back alleyways of rome and see the vatican. i wanted to put my hand in the mouth of truth just like in the movie and go all the way to the top of the eiffel tower. i wanted to ride a double decker bus and attempt to stalk the guy that plays harry potter. i even had a little fund that could only be openned once in order to save up money for my trip.

instead of being openned months ago, it sat where it has sat for for the last two years collecting dust. i even named it. alfie. plans change. people take trips to other places instead. i work instead of finally leaving like i told myself to months ago. the dream stays just what it is, a dream. reality hits and the responsible me says that i must save that money for college, not spend it on some trip across the globe.

and the worst part is that i still sometimes get tempted to just go out, buy a ticket and fly away. both luckily and unfortunately, my last trip to the bank says that i have exactly $40.88 in the savings account. therefore, that temptation is quite impossible.

i think to myself that if i just hadn't been so unrealistic in the first place, i wouldn't have this problem. the thing is.. i still like to dream. i still think i might find someone who will still want to fly away with me and discover the castles of england to take the ridiculously cliche pictures of the leaning tower of piza and the eiffel tower.

i promised myself four years ago that i wouldn't open my europe fund until the time came to REALLY go to europe. i'm not ready to break that promise just yet.

i still want to find someone someday.