Saturday, November 21, 2009


Wanna know a secret? In my mind, I'm freaking out. I've been freaking out for days, weeks possibly. The sad part is that I don't even know how long it has been going on, but I know it's been a while. The worst part is that the more reasonable side of my brain is telling me that I have no reason to blow things out of proportion and make a nothing into a something.

I feel scared,
but I cannot articulate what I am scared of.

I think that's the worst part, not really know what I'm scared of. That and coming close to trying to explain it to someone, but chickening out because when it comes time to justifying why I am scared, I will be left speechless and unsure. I do not know why I feel scared. I just do.

There's a particularly strong sense of uncertainty that I feel with life. Then again, I guess there is always uncertainty in everything. Maybe, just maybe, it makes life worth living, constantly trying to figure out what happens next. I know I'll be okay with however life turns out, I just selfishly and desperately want it to go my way.

I really just shouldn't be allowed to write this late.

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