Monday, November 09, 2009


I am thinking too much again. I feel it.

Disappointing exam. I sorta hate him for telling us that price ceiling and floors wouldn't be on it, only to stick it on anyway. Those were two questions I struggled with and hated myself for not knowing. I hate when a part of me is angry at myself like that. Still, he is a good teacher. I'm just not the good student I should be to do well.

I do think this afternoon was perfect. I should go to the beach more often, especially Newport. If I could, I do think I would try to go every day. I wish I had taken more pictures though (which reminds me, I should upload what I did take picture of right now). The wonderful memory will stay in my head for years, all of it. The smell of the McDonald's french fries. The seagulls. The beautiful houses. Good Company. It was perfect.

California Adventure makes me happy.

I can't sleep as much these days, mostly because I'm thinking too much. I'm thinking and I don't really have a way to get my thoughts out properly. I miss people and it puts me in a seemingly depressed state. I vent to some people, but venting doesn't help anymore. All I want to do is fix things and make things better, not simply pretend like everything is okay and push it away towards the deep corners of my thoughts. I feel lonely. I want my friends back.

I am selfish in my writing, in all of my writing. I'm write with the hopes that I can let out my thoughts, not privately, but to the world. In this way, maybe I can dream wonderful dreams again and not have this headache and my small number of readers won't have to listen to petty complaints.

Don't think me to be depressed.
In general, life is good and I am happy.
I'm just thinking too much.

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