steps.

the way i see it, there are certain steps when it comes to a relationship. not just any kind of relationship, mind you, but the boy like girl kind of relationship. (then again, maybe it's just the steps to liking someone in that particular kind of liking sort of way.) i fully understand that they may not all follow these steps precisely or even at all. this is my interpretation of it all.

step one is actually talking to that person. now you may have talked to this person for years before and never really thought much about it, or this may be the first time you really talk to a person. you can speak to a person for a lifetime without really talking to them. anyway, in this first step you start to really get to know the other person, in ways you never really expected. you really begin to notice their existence, it's more obvious when they're around or worse, not around.

moving on, there's step 2. that's when you hang out, but it's the awkward kind of hanging out. not necessarily a bad awkward, but just awkward. it's the time when you're not quite sure of the other party feels the same way towards you or whether this is just you making an absolutely awful assumption. it's the time period when you think something might happen or it's just the beginning of nothing at all. it's during this time when you must be particularly careful of what you say. and every self conscious word is so obviously filled with this attempted wit, yet comes out as idiotic. this is the step where every encounter ends in that weird hug where you may think it's something special, when in actually may just be a hug between two friends. this is the uncertain step.

step 3! this is where the fun really begins, but unfortunately the confusion doesn't end. we call it the hand holding step. it's has quite the subtle, yet potentially very quick transition from step 2. you and your special friend are hanging out, in a group or on your very lonesome, and suddenly you realize that hands are being held. prior to the hand holding you may have simply thought about the robots attacking each other on the giant screen in front of you, or you might have been begging for this to happen, but only in your mind of course. anyway, that holding hand talks A LOT. it says 'hey, hi, how's it going? so here's the deal, i like you. and it's enough to want to hold your hand. now, this doesn't necessarily mean we're going out or we are now some form of an item, but it means i like you. and if you don't let go of me right away, it means you like me too. so if you'll let me, i'd like to hold your hand, and not let go for a very long time, or ever! ooh, that would be nice. oh, and don't mind the sweaty palms. i'm a little nervous." the beatles said it best.

finally comes step 4. you can probably guess what it is, the kiss. now i think i'll choose not to describe this step, mainly because it's so very different with each person. it can occur anytime, anywhere. in the middle of the street. in the rain. on a swing in the park. in your basement. under some mistletoe. on a rollercoaster. i don't know... anywhere! the media and novels have managed to describe this step on their own, so i shall refrain from attempting it. i'll just say one thing, this is the step where you manage to forget that the rest of the world exists because, in that one moment, now there's only one other person in the world that really seems to matters.

now there are most definitely more steps, but i'm choosing not to go on. i'll blame my sleepiness for that. keep in mind that i'm a very, bored teenage girl and that 98.6% of what i write is absolute nonsense. i'll probably delete this post out of shame within a few days. please don't judge me...