sorry.

when you were three and you just finished your dinner, your mom tells you to go put your dirty dish next to the sink. your hands are small and the grip is not so great. so you're walking, quite content with a belly full of food and out of no where, you hear a shatter. you look down and you're surrounded by a million ceramic shards. tears form in your eyes, not yet ready to stream down your face, but on the cusp. you look up to your mom and just say sorry over and over again til the nothing else to say. she picks you up, gives you a hug, and chuckles a little.

when you were eight, you played catch with your neighbor from across the street. the kid was a little weird, but whatever, it was decent company. so on you go playing until suddenly he thinks of himself as a pro baseball player and decides to chuck the thing. now naturally your main fear would be to not get hit, but seeing as the ball went straight towards your parents bedroom window, it was a bit different. and for some strange reason, the only thing you can think to do... is run. so off you run until dad, incredibly mad, catches up to you. after about five minutes of screaming he stops, and all you say is sorry. what more is there? his expression changes, and you know everything is all right.

when you were sixteen, you find yourself in a new school taking tests that seem abnormally hard. you study for hours, but when the math test lands on your desk, you're just staring at a page of nothing. you do your best, but it's not enough. the test comes home and your mom is mad. really, really mad. you say your sorry's and that you did your best. she's frustrated, but knows you're sincere, so all is forgiven. there's still next time.

now you're an adult. eighteen. you've made your mistakes and you've done some of the most stupid things possible. you still don't really think about your consequences until it's too late. after all, you're still human. but you feel so much less. so much smaller. so much more vulnerable. you've grown and you've learned. and now you know, sometimes sorry just isn't enough anymore.

(i'm emo. sorry.)