Revelation

I don't remember the last time I was excited for life.

Is that sad? I'm thinking yes right now. I've looked forward to trips across the world and catching up with people that I have seen in a long time, but I can't ever recall feeling excited for my general future. I think nervous would be the word that I usually have for it. Nervous at the idea of failing and disappointing myself, or worse, disappointing the people around me. I've held back for fear of not meeting others' expectations of me, at the cost of meeting the expectations I have for myself.

Now that I've finally acknowledged this, I'm hoping that I finally get the courage to do what it takes to make me excited for life again. I just don't want to hit that wall of nerves again.

I know that God has His plans for me, and that they may not seem that appealing to me. But He knows best and that should be enough, right?

I feel like I'm still missing something.. and also that this post severely lacked direction. I'll just blame the Nyquil. Goodnight, world.