All of my nothings

"Okay so there's this scene in Winnie the Pooh, where Christopher Robin tells Pooh that he is growing up and isn't gonna do nothing any more. And Pooh is confused and Christopher Robin says something along the lines of .. "it's like when an adult asks you what you're going to do today, and you so 'Oh, nothing' and then you go out and do it." That's sorta my definition of nothing. I always read that and wonder if I ever grew up because I still do that to this day.

It's like .. when you had a rough week and when the weekend finally comes around you just sleep in and watch your favorite tv shows all day. And some people sorta think, "You're such a bum sitting around doing nothing all day!" But doing that is actually something so very important to me cause it's time for me to relax and rest. Basically my overall meaning was that what may appear as nothing to the outside world actually has a lot of meaning and importance to me. And in my blog, I attempt to convey its importance so others may possibly understand as well.

Do not fret. I thank God each day for all of the amazing gifts He has provided me. Particularly for the wonderful clouds that make the sky so beautiful lately.."

Current Psyche

a. My posture is horrid. I must attempt to fix, though I already know how this will turn out.
b. I get sad whenever I see my broken watch, but haven't had time to fix it.
c. Class tomorrow = sad Kimly.
d. Quiero un lens.
e. I miss getting all fancy smancy and going somewhere and just taking pictures for fun.
f. Griffith Observatory! My astronomy teacher made me want to go. Someone take me.
h. I am a petty, stubborn person. I'll work on being better tomorrow..
i. 16 months is a really long time.. just saying.
j. 79 degrees tomorrow. :(
k. The sunset today made me really happy.
l. Suffering from separation anxiety. (I am a needy person.)
m. Why the heck am I awake typing this?

Current Psyche

1. It's hot. All I want to do is wear fall clothes and be able to snuggle in a blanket while I watch tv.
2. I have no motivation to do anything. It scares me.
3. The fact that my friends are very far is taking its toll on me again.
4. Maroon 5 is gooood stuff.
5. I lied about my weight in order to be able to donate blood today and still didn't show up to my appointment. I suck.
6. Tomorrow is gonna be hot too, huh?
7. Bumming it on the couch feels good. It was much needed.
8. I still need to brush my teeth.
9. The idea of having some people around is still too good to be true.

I want so badly to believe

...that there is truth and love is real.

He asked the room if there was anyone who considered themselves a romantic at all. I raised my hand, without a single ounce of hesitation, looked around and realized my hand stood alone amongst an empty space. And every song and poem analyzed spoke of people following the orthodox teachings of romanticized living who find some tragic ending. The classmates themselves spoke only in the idea that romance was dead and a true romantic did not exist. He was a fake, at best.

Well, world, I argue otherwise. It may not be in opening the door of a girl every time she gets in the car or serenading with sweet melodies, but it does exist. Maybe it's all of the girly chick flicks I've seen in my days or possibly the hopeless romantic side of me. But I do believe that true romantics do exist, along with finding your true loves and happily ever afters.. If I were to change my mind simply because the rest of the world apparently believes so, then I wouldn't really be me then, I suppose.

I hope romantics never give up.

Come back.

I always wonder if it's ever too late to rectify relationships. Some people find closure, some people accept the losses and some people think they move on. I've thought that I moved on so many times, only to find myself angry and hurt and frustrated all over again. And I've to come to the point where it's just seems too late for some things.

I guess I would just like to believe that life can prove me wrong.

Watch the Sky

Pardon me if I'm not myself.
I'm hiding, you see.
I'm finding distractions
in everything
and everyone.

It's what you do
when you cannot run

All I want to do
is look up and watch the sky,
but it just hurts
from the glare of the sun.

So at night,
take me out,
and we can have some fun.

Lay by my side,
hold my hand if you'd like
and all of my problems will be undone.

Getting lost in the stars,
there's no more need to run.

All I want to do is watch the sky.



(Astronomy class is having its effects on me. He just kept telling us to watch the sky. Then I just kept singing to myself.)

Material World.

This is probably my favorite look book that Ruche has had so far. The number of outfits I would love to have and all of the accessories and shoes and just the cute coats and cardigans. Makes me excited for fall and just cold weather clothes in general. Never mind the fact that I also spent many hours working on the descriptions and names of the a good number of the stuff. (Click here to get to the site.)

God works in mysterious ways.

I hurt tonight...

A poem I like?

Picking Cherries

The ladder quakes and sways under me, old wood
I put too much faith in, like ancestors strained.
You circle me, cradling the baby, sun glittering
in your face, parading through the leaves, glad.
If I looked down I would see your calm fear, see
in your narrowed eyes my bones chipped, useless.
The bucket hangs from my belt, pulling obscenely
at my pants, but the cherries drop in and grow
one by one. I keep reaching higher than I need
because I want the one that tickles your tongue.
When I come down we will both be older, slower,
but what of that? Haven't we loved this climbing?
If the ladder gives way I still believe I can
catch one branch, drop the bucket and ease down.

You may or may not know that I am not a huge fan of poems. I hated studying them in high school and now that I am studying them again, I am not the happiest person in the world. But alas, I have found one that actually makes me happy to read. So I figured I would blog about it. This way, when I'm looking back at my writings a year or two from now, or maybe next week, I can rediscover this poem and fall in love with it again.

Quote

"Sometimes I wonder how my wife reconciles loving this wandering mess that is me. The unspoken fear of so many artists is the discovery of true love. Not the kind of love that burns hard and fast, but the kind that smolders with no end and wouldn't let you go if you tried. I can't speak for all writers, but I know I speak for many when I say that it is a secret fear amongst us that with this smoldering comes the death of an atomic dream. New love is easy art. In the stirring of discovery poetry grows from seed to sunlight in short blistering days. In the light of the unknown the mystery of another makes anything seem possible. In love we are reborn in a frenzied blaze of hyper existence. In the dissolution of love we are blown to pieces. Some pieces we collect in the fallout of moving on and others we leave behind; thumb tacks on the great maps of our personal histories, showing us all the places that we have been." - Andrew McMahon

Sigh..

My eyes hurt from staring at a screen too long. My fingers hurt because they have no strength in them at all for the strings. & my head just hurts because it hurts..

I miss people a lot
and feel particularly antsy for tomorrow
even though I don't even have plans.
I must see someone, anyone.
I've been starving for a conversation..

And that is my 15.34 seconds of emo-ness for the day. Now for something cute!



I must recreate these.
Rachel Om, if you were still home, I would tell you to make these with me. And I already have chocolate icing in the fridge, begging to be used. It's like fate..

Birthday Wishes..

James Hance has some amazing art work where he does little twists on pop culture, including cartoons and t-shirts. This one in particular is a wonderful combination of my youth, Winnie the Pooh and Star Wars. I know it's bad to be materialistic and such, but holy cow, this is so awesome and cute! Eek!

I'll be one happy camper if I can someday collect all three. (I was in Ruche mode with that description up there.)

Untitled.

Yesterday I:
-got to my first day of school an hour before my potential class even started.
-saw girls dressed up, looking like they were gonna go clubbing.
-realized the hard way that 12 hour days at school means having to pack a lunch AND dinner.
-also realized that 12 hour days leads to major wardrobe issues (cold in the morning & nights but super hot during the day)
-wished it was my first day of first grade rather than my second year of college.
-remembered how much I despise poems.
-danced in the street and had faces made at me.
-KNOCKED OUT the moment I got home.

Highlight: dancing in the street.