I am flawed and broken.
But He makes me want to be better.
It's comforting to know that after a long, tiring day like this
and an even longer day tomorrow,
that with the Lord, anything is possible.


O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Favorite

Yosemite HD from Project Yosemite on Vimeo.

This was definitely one of the most amazing time lapses that I've ever seen.  It wasn't until I watching it this might be the first summer in years that I'm not going to Yosemite to hike. I am hoping this will not be true. 

In case you didn't know.. giraffe.

I had way too much fun doing this.. Just call me another teenage girl who likes to play with light art.. cause it's freaking fun and I'm not ashamed of this. And let's ignore the fact that I haven't been a teenager for over a year.

Because..

(1) I just helped my friend redecorate her room, and it looked cute. So I wanted to redecorate mine. But I am too lazy/weak to move furniture around in my room, so this was the extent of my decorating.
(2) Looking at pictures of my favorite people helps with the homesickness and replaces it with a smiles.
(3) I printed approximately 100 pictures over break and needed a reason to justify getting so many.
(4) I had gotten relatively okay at posting almost every day and didn't want to skip my lazy Monday.

I did a night hike a couple nights ago up to Mt. Cowles, where there was a nice view of Lake Murray and Mexico in the distance. I had the opportunity to get a long exposure of prior to:

(a) Spraining my ankle
(b) Having a bunch of 11-year-old kids throw rocks down the mountain toward me

I have yet to decide if it was worth it.
I just want my ankle to heal quickly, so I can hike again.

Release

There are some things that I fear might always hurt. Others may not understand and view it as immature and trivial.  And in all honesty, so do I sometimes.

But like I've written before, you can't really control what (or who) hurts you and what doesn't. You sorta just have to learn to let things go. That's the hard part. Yet in the end, I have faith that someday I can be more accepting of people for who they are and be more grateful for what I have in life. It'll take work. And I'm willing to try.

"Loving people is hard. But I want to believe it's worth it, and your gentleness becomes a testimony to others." 

So far

-Slept in til 12:30 for the first time in a really long time.
-Had the chance to make myself a delicious breakfast with sunnyside up eggs
-Found out I got into the art class I need
-2 of my best friends might be coming to SD this weekend and a few next week!

I've only been awake for 2.5 hours, and there's so much in life to be grateful for.

I am happy.

I gotta be honest, today was rough. That last few days have been, actually. There were very little moments when I wasn't thinking about what task I needed to do next or where I needed to walk to. I found myself constantly scribbling notes and lists to myself on my pastel stack of post its that I keep in the front pocket of my bright blue backpack.

And throughout the day, all of it was just catching up with me. The frustration towards myself for sleeping in and missing class, the lack of relief I felt when finally turning in my papers, the sheer terror inside when telling my counselor that I don't know what I want to do yet when I graduate. There were moments when it honestly felt like too much.


I can't really explain it, but just minutes ago, I suddenly felt very excited for my future.

There's plenty to be scared of, but so much more to look forward to. And I think a lot of it has to do with the trust that I feel is slowly growing in God. I've never felt His love for me stronger than I feel at the present. And with that love, I trust I have for His plans magnifies in ways I've never felt before. He's given me an endless list of just plain good to smile about. How could I not have faith that He will provide it to me in the future? They may not be exactly what I had in mind, or seem ideal at the time, but He knows what's best.

I am happy for the wonderful people in my life.
I am happy for the opportunities laid in front of me. (I may or may not have just looked if I was using the grammatically correct form of lay in the past tense. I was right.)
I am happy for God's love and my ability to see it more in the everyday.


There's a lump in my throat that I can't really explain. It's similar to one I feel when I want to cry. It's possibly some leftover from when I was bawling my eyes out while watching 50/50 (amazing movie, btdubs). Or it could be my strange desire to cry at just how beautiful life is.

tl;dr I am happy.

Cravings

As most of my friends know already, I am someone who eats away her emotions and stress. And after the last few days along with the next  5 hours left at school, the list of food I am craving is slowly growing longer and unhealthier.

Currently craving:
-homemade salad
-brownies
-chocolate chip cookies
-Dr. Pepper
-chips & salsa
-sprinkled donut
-kettle chips
-churro
-Costco hot dog

Big Sur Post!

So this is super late, but I've finally found time to post the pictures. This past winter break, I went to Big Sur for the first time with some friends. I can honestly say without a bit of hesitation that this is one of the most beautiful places that I've ever seen. And it was incredibly nice to go there this past break, especially after thinking that I wouldn't be able to go for a few years. Above is the traditional picture of the falls at Julia Pfeiffer beach. When looking at what pictures to post, it was so hard to edit them down to a relatively decent amount.. so I didn't. :)

I must admit that if we had only seen the elephant seals, turned around, and gone home, I would've been happy.

This is the one picture that I actually took! (With the most confusing lens ever.)

This trip definitely called for a repeat in the future because only seeing these things once in my life is just not enough. The trip was packed with good company, too much food, beautiful hikes, and unforgettable sunsets (dolphin jumps and all).

Face Rock at Limekiln Beach

Good Start

Yesterday was my first official day classes I stayed on campus for over 14 hours. It was possibly one of the most productive days I have had in a really long time, and probably one of the best days of school so far in the year (besides the 45 minutes that one professor thought was needed to explain how she would use an iclicker in class).

-3 hours of class
-satisfied boba craving
-shipped out a book on amazon
-looked up info for a tutor
-3 more hours of class
-finished a lot of study abroad stuff
-looked into adding a minor
-dinner and catch up with my newest friend
-rather boring school event (but free Chic-Fil-A!! = success)

And today will also be pretty busy:
-meeting with a counselor to make sure I can add a minor still
-writing workshop
-second meeting with second counselor about studying abroad
-apply for a passport
-hopefully get home early enough to hike before the sun goes down
-hoooomework! boo.

"You've got to find what you love."

I know that I posted this video back in October, but I firmly believe there is no limit to how often can you watch it. 

I never really knew what I loved.
Still searching.

"I’m not bitter about what happened to me as a child, and my mother was instrumental in keeping me from being so. … She taught me to be grateful for my life regardless of what that entailed, and that’s directly related to the image of Christ on the cross and the example of sacrifice that he gave us. What she taught me is that the deliverance God offers you from pain is not no pain — it’s that the pain is actually a gift." - Stephen Colbert