food photography.

i think the best thing about food photography is being able to eat your wonderful piece of art afterward.

vampire cousin.

i have conquered you!
and your evil ways.

your presence always seemed to linger,
didn't it?
you constantly posed as a threat
to me,
to my happiness,
to my mere future.
even now when you're gone,
you still manage to.
and i don't like you for that.

i'm pretty sure you hated me.
you probably still do
as i type these very words.

i think of you
as a vampire.
or at least a cousin of one.
you suck the life out of people around you.
or maybe it's just your secret obsession with them
that you attempt to cover up
by mocking them with your other little friends.
but i know you.
you deceive people.
everyone.

i don't want to be your friend,
but i still hate that i hurt you.
it doesn't matter, does it?
you only choose carefully who you want to stay close to.
i wasn't one of those people.
i wasn't worth it.
makes me want to hurt you even more.

(i killed a mosquito in the bathroom like 12 minutes ago. this was to him. or her. i couldn't tell. i'm a little loopy right now. i don't want to do calculus homework anymore. curses. i hate vampires. except that one juno song! good song..random.)

The Things I Love when I see Love.

-Old couples past the age of 60 holding hands when they walk somewhere.
-People going on their routine walks together in the evenings.
-Two people who still manage to be fascinated with each other after 16 years of marriage.
-Little girls who give their 4th grade boyfriends pencil lead for Christmas.
-Cheesy moments meant only for the movies.
-Lyrics of a song.
-The love expressed in ways other than words.

Interpretation.

So apparently, many people have dreams that have to do with teeth falling out or suddenly crumbling or getting really crooked really easily.

I googled the meaning of such dreams. I'm really bored. Anyway according to dreammoods.com having dreams about teeth can show a potential anxiety about your appearance or how people perceive you. Or the whole "my teeth are falling out" dream can have a connection of being embarrassed or even the loss of power a person may fall victim to after losing said teeth.

Lame.

I am not satisfied with this.

Irrational Thinking.

I think I've come to realize that I don't often listen to reason as much as I probably should. You know when you're making a decision and everyone else in the world seems to be telling you to not do it, but you don't care and you just do it anyway? That's me. I don't listen to the voice of reason, whoever's voice it may be.

A lot of times as a kid, I would always brush aside some sort of wisdom shared with me by some older adult and simply do whatever it was that I wanted to do. Mostly because I was a stubborn little brat who didn't know how to take good advice when it came to her. Also because of the fact that I always wanted to go with what my gut said, just because it felt good to listen to it. And if my choice was the wrong choice in the end, I had to simply face the consequences and make the best of what I had.

I'm still like that today.

I think... even though there are a lot of amazing friends out there who give good advice when it comes to the rational reasoning in another person's life, when it comes to their own, they won't be so rational. I think a lot of us have this sense of being irrational within themselves. Don't hate me for saying this, but I think another word for it is hope. This irrationality that sometimes dwells within us is the hope that in the end, against all odds and what the rest of the world may foresee, maybe something can go our way. And if that's the case, I don't think I mind being irrational sometimes.

pet peeve.

when people spell "hi" like "hai."

why?? why must you do that? you're not five, and if the government has done it's job, then i'm pretty sure you must've learned a little something in the 13 years of school you were forced to go to. even my five year old niece knows better than that.

go back to school, fool.

[untitled.]

i want to sew again.
and sketch.
and clean my room.
and repaint my room!
and get better at knitting.
and play an instrument well.

and i don't like that i can never get myself inspired unless it's past 11 pm and i'm all sleepy. i'm all antsy inside.

passionfruit.

i never really did the whole "pursue your passions" thing. party because i don't think i ever really found something that i loved enough to call it a passion. mostly because whenever i found something that i kinda liked, for some stupid reason, i always thought that it was too late for me. i was never really able to let go of that mindset, strangely, even now.

but i do love that you shared your's with me today.
it wasn't boring, i promise.
i loved watching every minute of it.

dreaming. [what a lame title.]

i had the most wonderful dream last night.
though i only remember one single moment in that dream,
which in real life
would probably last a total of 20 seconds.

you know the feeling when you wake up from a dream,
and for a few seconds,
you think it's real?

i felt that this morning,
and realized what it was.
just a dream.